


You Can't Leave Me, Shellhead

by AngelSweeney13



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), But he loves that man, Endgame, Fix-It, He is just a dumb idiot, He just wants Tony to live, He will pine from afar, Hurt Tony, Irondad, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, POV Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, Pining, Post-Endgame, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Spoilers, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers loves Tony, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tony Feels, Tony Stark & Peter Parker - Freeform, Tony Stark Feels, Very Minor, Who lied, and didn't call, and didn't come back, and he knows he was wrong, and smashed tony in the chest, dumb boys, steve rogers & peter parker - Freeform, with his shield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-07 05:51:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelSweeney13/pseuds/AngelSweeney13
Summary: THIS STORY CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS. DO NOT READ. PLEASE BE WARNED.The notes in the first chapter will have a summary to avoid spoiling for other people.DO NOT add this fic (or any others of mine) to Goodreads. If you see any on there, feel free to report them because they do not have permission.





	1. A win, but at what cost?

**Author's Note:**

> Starts right from the final snap. When the enemies are dusting. 
> 
>  
> 
> DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED ENDGAME. I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SPOILING ANYTHING.

Steve had barely taken a breath during the fight and when it was finally done with Thanos and his people dusting all around him, he found he couldn’t breathe at all. Because the only thing in his sight was Tony. Tony who staggered back and fell to the ground across the battlefield. 

Steve watched as the boy, Peter, fell to his knees in front of Tony. Begging him to be okay, telling him that they won, rambling as he clung to Tony’s chest. 

Steve pushed to the front of the group surrounding him. Just in time to see Pepper press a kiss to Tony’s cheek and tell him that it was okay to rest. 

But No. It wasn’t okay to rest. He couldn’t die. Not after all this. Tony couldn’t leave them. Him. 

 

He collapsed in front of Tony, besides a sniffling Peter and a solemn Pepper. Ignoring the pain in his ribs and the fatigue that coursed through him. Focusing solely on Tony.

“Queens, Pepper, give me some space. Let me help him.” 

Steve ran his hands up Tony’s throat cradling his face. “Tony, come on Shellhead. Stay with me, show me those eyes.” His eyes fluttered gently, but didn’t open. He moaned softly, barely a whisper which was all that told Steve that he was still alive, besides the barely there heartbeat beneath his fingers. 

Steve ran a calculating eye over Tony’s body, before taking the arc reactor in his hand and yanking. Hard. 

The suit fell away. Along with the stones. Tony’s back bowed and he groaned harshly, eyes snapping open glazed and unfocused. His arm was burned badly, but the sickly black burn stopped spreading almost immediately. 

“I need Shuri, Banner, and Strange. NOW.” Steve barked, not bothering to turn around to see if anyone was complying with orders. He just kept his eyes on Tony. 

He ran a soothing hand over Tony’s face, whispering soft apologies to him. Softly begging him to hang on. Tony’s eyes focused after a few minutes of Steve kneeling directly in front of him with their faces inches apart, never daring to take his hands off of the warm skin of Tony’s throat. 

“St-eeve?” 

“Yeah, Sweetheart. I’m here. Just hang on okay? Help is coming. You will get through this. I will get you through this.” Tears track paths in the dirt of Steve’s face as he spoke. 

“St-eve. I m’ssed ‘ou.” Tony voice was a slur, as he fought to stay awake. To stay alive.

Steve pressed his forehead against Tony’s. “I missed you too, Sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I should have come back to you sooner. I shouldn’t have lied. I-” 

“Shhh. S’okay. Capsicle.” Steve chuckled wetly at the nickname. One he hadn’t heard in years, but that sounded so right falling from Tony’s lips. 

The comms crackled to life, breaking their moment. ****** Cap. Help coming in on your left.******

 

“Okay, Darling. Time to go.” Steve stood and scooped Tony into his arms as gently as possible, but the movement made Tony hiss harshly against Steve’s shoulder. 

“Just stay awake for me Tony. You need to see Morgan. She needs her daddy to come home, okay? And Peter he needs you. Harley too. Please just hang on a little longer. Don’t leave us. Don’t leave me.” Tony mumbled an unintelligible response into Steve’s throat, which only made him move faster to close the gap between them and Strange, Shuri, and Bruce. 

 

Steve didn’t even let anyone else speak before he began rambling off questions.  
“Shuri. Please can you heal him? In Wakanda? Strange can you get us there? Bruce, the stones. They are still in the arm of his suit we need to deal with that maybe Carol can, but we need to save him. Please someone help him.”

Shuri’s eyes widened and nodded to Strange, who made them a portal directly into the Wakandan castle. Steve rushed Tony through as he felt Tony’s breathing become harsh and labored against his neck.

“Captain. Set him down so I can work.” 

 

Steve gently placed Tony down on the table, dropping a kiss to his forehead before backing up to stand against the wall, out of Shuri’s way. Peter Parker joined him slumping down to sit beside Steve’s feet, while Pepper stood rigidly just steps from where the portal had once been, beside a distraught Rhodey. 

Steve watched as Shuri’s machines came to life, providing fluids and pain medications as she worked to make sure he wouldn’t die from the injuries. He stood stoic with his back straight against the wall, steeling himself for bad news and watching every monitor that showed that Tony was indeed alive even if he looked ashen and closer to death than life, until he heard the soft whimpers coming from the boy leaning against him. The boy that Tony loved like a son.

Steve slid down the wall and enveloped the teenager in his arms, running a large hand through his hair soothingly. That was all it took for sobs to rack the boy’s body. 

“It’s okay. He will get through this. Tony is the strongest person I know. He will come back from this. He wouldn’t want to leave you behind.” Steve whispered softly into Peter’s hair. He leaned back into the wall pulling the boy into his chest allowing them both the chance to rest, as they stood vigil by Tony’s side. 

 

Steve hoped that this wasn’t the end. That this win didn't cost them Tony. They had already lost so much. Steve wouldn't survive losing Tony. 

“You can’t leave me, Shellhead.” Steve murmured softly to himself before closing his eyes and wishing with everything he had that Tony would wake up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Please review. There will be at least a few more chapters.


	2. I can't live without him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve POV, while Tony is being treated.

Steve watched as Shuri flitted between Tony and her machines mumbling to herself, but he didn’t move until Peter had well and truly passed out from the exhaustion of the day, crying, and coming back from the snap. When he was sure that he wouldn’t wake the boy, Steve rose cradling him like a small child and depositing him on the couch on the far side of the lab. 

“What do you think, Shuri?”

Shuri set down her tablet and bit her lip as she contemplated her words. Sometimes Steve forgot that the brilliant princess, was still just a child. “It’s not good. There are very high levels of Gamma radiation, which I am treating along with his other injuries from the battle, however he is currently in a coma. I am not sure when he will wake up. Or if he will at all.” 

Steve took a sharp breath and focused on keeping his mind from swimming to the worst outcome. A world without Tony Stark. 

Instead he crossed the room in three large strides and pulled the girl into a hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for helping him. Even if we don’t know what will happen.”

“Of course, Captain Rogers. You are a part of Wakanda and Mr. Stark is a part of you.” She stepped away. Promising to be back to check in later. Leaving Steve with Tony’s adopted son, his wife, and his best friend. It made him feel out of place. He loves Tony. But these people mean the most to him and deserve to be here more than him. He doesn’t deserve to be in the same room as him. Not after the pain he had caused. But he can’t leave. Its selfish really, but if these were Tony’s last hours or days on this earth, Steve doesn’t want to be anywhere else. 

 

So, he pulled a chair up to the bedside and gripped Tony’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him alive. Because for all the years they had been apart, knowing Tony was alive and happy had kept him sane. Now he was barely holding himself together. 

As he took his place beside Tony, he looked across to Pepper. She had been silently staring at Tony’s prone body for the better part of an hour. Only moving to step out of her suit and take a seat on the far side of the room. Away from everyone, even Rhodey who was pacing by the large window overlooking Wakanda. Steve understood the shock and pain she must be feeling at watching Tony save them all and nearly dying doing it. That she might want to distance herself from that pain. But seeing the woman that Tony loves not sitting beside him, not wanting to touch him. That made him feel antsy. Because he didn’t know what he would do in this moment if he couldn’t touch Tony. To feel that he was alive. 

Eventually, he pulled a pouch off the back of his belt, producing Tony’s arc reactor. The one that five years prior Tony had thrust into his hands as a sign that he had truly fucked everything up. He fiddled with it anxiously, thankful for something to occupy his free hand and that it hadn’t broken when Thanos had tossed him around like a rag doll.

They sat in silence for a long time, before Pepper finally spoke. “You love him.” It wasn’t a question. Not really. Just a blunt statement of fact. A true statement of fact. 

“Yes.” Steve murmured softly. There was no point in lying. She could obviously see it written all over him. 

Though he didn’t expect her to abruptly stand and cross the room to where he stood. 

He really didn’t expect her hand as it came down hard across his cheek, but he understood. He deserved it. For loving her husband. For even being here. He wished that he could leave. That he had the strength to do that again. To leave because it was what Tony deserved. What he would want. But he didn’t, so he just steeled himself. Prepared for Pepper to make him leave. To tell him to never come near Tony again. 

But it never came. 

“That was for all the pain you brought him. He deserved to know. About his parents and about this. Now, I need to go get our daughter. She should get to be with her father even if he isn’t awake. Even if it's just to say goodbye. I will be back as soon as I can.”

Steve nodded numbly. Unsure why she wasn’t kicking him out. Sending him back to the compound to aid the others with clean up. Or just forcing him on a Quinjet and sending him back into the ice. 

Before she could leave the room, Steve spoke quietly. “Tony might want Harley here too. If that’s okay. I don’t know how close they are anymore.”

Pepper hummed in response and then disappeared into the halls of Wakanda. 

 

Steve cradled Tony’s hand between both of his and pressed his lips to Tony’s knuckles. He was startled out of his head by Rhodey speaking for the first time since they entered Wakanda. 

“Thank you. For saving him. And it’s okay. To be in love with him. Even after everything that happened.”

“I would have saved him even if I wasn’t in love with him. He matters. To us all. I’ve been in love with him for years. Even before our fight. He just deserved better. Especially after Siberia. And he has it. God, he has done so well. Morgan is smart, beautiful, and so sweet. His life with Pepper is great and I just want him to be alive. I won’t interfere with their life. I swear. I just can’t live in a world without him. I don’t want to.”

“Me neither.”


	3. A Child's Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Morgan feels.

Steve was startled to full consciousness when a tiny body clambered into his lap. He had been slumped back in his chair one hand clasped with Tony’s and the other a life line on the old arc reactor. 

He had woken up when Shuri came to check on Tony and then again not long after when Pepper, Happy, Harley, and Morgan came in. He just felt no need to join the soft conversations between Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey or the children who were all meeting for the first time. So he kept his eyes shut and his mind swimming with memories. 

Until he opened his eyes and was staring into the big brown eyes of Morgan Stark, eyes that matched her father’s almost exactly. 

“Hi Sweetie.” Steve whispered, voice rasping slightly with emotion and sleep, earning him a sweet smile. Glancing around the room, he discovered that he was the only adult left. The three teens were huddled on the couch discussing science that went over his head, but Rhodey, Happy, and Pepper were nowhere to be found. 

“Where’s your mommy?” He asked shifting up so they could sit comfortably. Letting go of Tony’s hand for the first time in hours. But he was sure that Tony would understand the appeal of wanting to wrap the tiny girl up and never letting go. 

“She took Uncle Rhodey and Happy to talk to the King. Harley is watching me.” 

“Is he now?” Steve spared a glance across the room to where Harley just shrugged sheepishly. 

 

“Yup. I know who you are.” She said running a hand along the star on his chest. 

“I know, I was at your house a few weeks ago.” It had been the first time he saw Tony in five years. The first time he met Morgan. He knew about her, but only because he kept tabs. Making sure nothing could hurt Tony or come in between him and his new life. 

“No silly. There’s a picture of you in Daddy’s garage and one in the drawer next to his bed, but he doesn’t know I saw that one.” 

Steve stared at the little girl stunned, unsure of what to say. “And when I’m really good he tells me bedtime stories about you. Like you jumping out of planes and killing Hydra. And working with grandpa to become big and strong.--” 

She stopped speaking when she noticed the arc reactor laying beside her father. “Oooh it’s daddy’s heart. Is it the one he gave you? He was mad. He said so. He said that Captain America just held his heart in his hands and broke it. But it’s right here. You didn’t break it at all” She hummed happily, turning it over and over in her small hands carefully, before clutching it to her chest. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think your daddy would like you telling me this. Remember you had to save him from me when I was at your house. I hurt your daddy really badly and I may not have broken this heart, but I hurt the one in here. ” Steve spoke gently tapping softly over his heart as he spoke, before running a hand over the girl’s hair, just like he had with Peter earlier. 

Morgan giggled. “Mommy said to save Daddy because he says things he doesn’t want to when your there. Not because your bad. And sometimes even our friends say mean things. That doesn’t mean you’re bad. Your Captain America. Daddy says it’s against the law for you to be bad.”

Steve gaped at her slack jawed, trying to process everything the small child had said in the last few minutes. She was obviously brilliant just like Tony, and sweet but feisty like Pepper. She just sighed and wiggled out of his lap, running to her bag that had been abandoned across the room. She rummaged for a few minutes before making a small victory cry that rang through the room and sprinted back into Steve’s lap. This time carrying a plush doll. 

 

“This is Capsicle. Daddy gave him to me when I was a baby. It was his first from when he was little.”

Steve listened as the young girl babbled happily about her doll. While curled up in his arms. Nothing had ever felt as right as holding Tony Stark’s child as if she was his own. But she wasn’t. This wasn’t his happy ending. This was just him making sure the only person he had ever truly loved survived. 

When he was awake and well. Steve would slip quietly away and let Tony be happy. But for now, he snuggled his face into her hair and held Tony’s hand with his free arm. Listening to the soft hum of Morgan’s rambling, and Peter, Harley, and Shuri debating. Wishing for just a moment that he could be selfish and tell Tony how he felt. And that it would matter at all. But it was too late. He knew that. It was too late in Siberia. Tony may trust him now, but he knew that if it came down to something other than saving the world that trust was probably miniscule. 

So for now, he held Tony’s baby girl until she eventually nodded off in his arms clutching her doll and her father’s arc reactor. But somehow it felt like she was also clutching his heart in her tiny hands. He looked down at her sweet face and back at Tony’s slack face with tears rolling down his cheeks. Crying for all the things he wished were different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Please review. I need to know.


	4. Sentimentality in the Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short filler chapter.

When Pepper finally returned, Steve watched as her eyes settled on him and her daughter and he could see her jaw clench slightly. So, he took a breath and released Tony’s hand. Carrying the tiny girl to her mother. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. She just crawled into my arms.” Steve voice was barely a whisper, worried he would wake the child. 

“It’s fine. She’s like her father. She would have found her way to you eventually. Even if I hadn’t left her in the same room as you with teenagers watching her. Can you carry her to our room?” Steve nodded and followed tentatively behind. He didn’t want to do anything to make Pepper uncomfortable. This was her family. Her life. And as much as he wished things were different. They weren’t and they weren’t going to change. 

Besides Pepper was perfect. Not just for Tony, but in a way that made her faults beautiful. The Pepper he remembered always carried herself tall and strong in heels leading everyone around her, probably better than he could. But this Pepper was different she still had that strong air about her, but she was softer, more resigned. Different, but still Pepper. The same way Tony had grown in the five years away. Smoothing out the harsh edges. She was also perfect for Tony. Never letting him take advantage of her, always holding her ground, telling him what he needed to hear, and putting him in his place when necessary. 

 

Steve laid Morgan in the middle of the large bed running his hand through her hair one last time. He watched as Pepper pressed a kiss to the child’s cheek and set her suit to sentry mode, before finally slipping out. 

He was half way back to Tony when Pepper’s voice rang out through the quiet hall. “Steve, wait.”

He stopped short, turning to the woman that Tony loved. Cataloging every aspect of her. 

She thrust a duffel bag at him. “You should shower and change out of your suit. Who knows how long he will be asleep. You can take ten minutes to yourself and clean up. He wouldn’t want to wake up and see you like this.” He glanced back at the door to the infirmary hesitantly. 

“Don’t worry. Rhodey and Happy are in there now. I sent Peter and Harley to bed an hour ago.”

He looked down at the duffle bag, it was a thick material with Tony’s initials across the side. “If these are Tony’s clothes they won’t fit me.” He mumbled more to himself really than Pepper.

“They’re yours. Well Tony’s are in there too. But the clothes in there that will fit you are all yours.” His eyes snapped up to meet hers. Trying to understand. 

“I figured all of your things were destroyed and if they weren’t then they are in the city. But Tony kept some things that everyone left behind at the Tower. Including clothes. He’s a packrat like that. Some might even say sentimental.” Her soft smile made Steve feel both warm and wrong. He knew that she wouldn’t be smiling if she knew how much he wished her life was his. But he smiled anyway, a small sad smile. Before heading to the guest room T’challa had set up for him. He knew that he wouldn’t be sleeping there since he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Tony’s side, but it was nice to have a space to run away to, if things got hard to cope with. 

 

When he returned, clean with water still clinging to his hair, Rhodey and Happy were playing cards with Tony dealt in as well. 

“Captain.” 

“Colonel. Mr. Hogan.” 

He slipped back into his chair and slid his hand back between Tony’s fingers watching as even in a coma Tony took all of his best friends’ money. It made him smile and wish that Tony was here, counting cards like he always did with a wicked grin on his face. Not pale, burned, and unconscious with tubes all over him. 

He leaned his head against Tony’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Hoping that when he woke up Tony would be back to them.


	5. I love you, 3000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Chapter from Tony's POV. He wakes up. Things are weird.

He couldn’t breathe. His chest felt weird and he tried to yell out but there was something in his throat. He was panicking, struggling to catch his breath around whatever was lodged in his throat and damn did his head hurt. It felt like his limbs were filled with cotton. 

Then he heard it. A sweet voice right in his ear and a hand laying against his chest, keeping him from thrashing. “Tony, tony, sweetheart. Calm down. Breath for me. You are okay. You’re in Wakanda in a hospital bed. You have a tube down your throat, but I already called Shuri and Bruce. Now can you open those eyes for me, darling.”

When he did, he was face to face with Steve Rogers. Captain America. Just inches from him, running a soothing hand down Tony’s face, with tears falling down his cheeks. Oh god. What happened? Who died to make Cap cry? He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know. He remembered the battle, remembered snapping his fingers, but then all he knew was pain. Pain and the swirling of voices around him, Pepper, Peter, and… Steve. 

Tony looked passed Steve and was relieved to see Peter. Damn he had missed that boy. He was crying too. What was with them? He was fine obviously. Not like Nat, damn it, Natasha. He missed her. 

Steve shifted away as Shuri and Bruce came to hover over him, but no. He didn’t want Steve to leave him. He was afraid. Shuri and Bruce looked weird. Like he was some sort of miracle or something. He just wanted Steve. He gripped Steve’s arm and refused to let go. 

“Tony, I need to go get Morgan. Don’t you want to see your little girl? She is taking a nap, just let me go get her okay?” Steve’s voice was more gentle than Tony had ever heard it, but he was right. Tony did want to see his little girl. So badly. But he wasn’t sure she should see him like this. 

Steve left, but Peter stayed and held his hand while Shuri went over her machines and Bruce removed the tubes from his throat and stomach. That was not okay, he didn’t want tubes in him ever again. 

But they didn’t tell him anything. Just watched and worked. Tony didn’t really mind, he was pretty tired still, maybe from the medicine. He didn’t really want to answer questions or anything. 

 

He looked up as the door to the infirmary banged open and revealed probably the best sight he could have been given. Steve Rogers holding his little girl on his hip, like a natural, with her little head resting on his shoulder. Tony could see that Steve was whispering softly to her, but he couldn’t hear them. 

Then he had an arm full of his little Morguna. Steve was getting yelled at by Bruce for plopping her right on the bed, but Tony ignored them. Choosing instead to just cuddle his baby, who had placed her head delicately against his chest after kissing his face sloppily. 

“I missed you, Daddy.” If waking up in a hospital didn’t make him emotional hearing her soft voice call him Daddy definitely did. He wasn’t sure how he survived the snap, but he was glad he did. Glad he could hold Morgan again.

But then she did something that took the air right out of his lungs. She turned her big eyes up to Steve who was standing behind her making sure she didn’t fall or hurt him. “Papa, I forgot Capsicle.” 

“Pete, will you grab Capsicle from my room? It should be in her bed.” Peter took off at Steve’s request, which only confused him more. Where was Pepper? Why was Morgan staying with Steve? 

Oh god. Was he in another universe? Did he die? Was this version of him married to Steve? Was Morgan even his daughter here? Oh god. His chest felt tight again. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Hey, Hey. Tony, baby. Breathe. I’m sorry she called me Papa. She likes to think she’s funny sometimes, just like you. She watched me walk into a door once when she said it to me and now it makes her laugh. Just breathe. You are alive. Pepper, and Rhodey are on their way back right now. Everything is okay. You saved the universe, Tone.” 

He listened to Steve’s voice, using it as an anchor to calm his breathing. When he opened his eyes again, Morgan and Steve were both inches from his face peering down at him and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Love you 3000, squirt” He managed to rasp out, earning a toothy grin.

“I love you, Daddy. 3000.” 

Tony couldn’t get the sweet smile that spread across Steve’s face out of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Tony woke up.
> 
> What do you think? 
> 
> There will definitely be more chapters. I should actually be writing a paper for school, but nope. Here I am, so I hope you enjoy it.


	6. Close your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is awake and Steve just can't get enough. Also More Steve and Morgan <3

Steve couldn’t take his eyes off Tony. He was awake. Well, at the moment he was sleeping with Peter and Morgan curled around him, but he was alive and awake. Steve’s prayers had finally been answered. 

He had been sitting at Tony’s bedside sketching him since the battle, but this time was different. This time he knew that Tony would open his eyes. Even if Steve could never tell Tony his feelings, at least he knew that Tony would live, that he would always be somewhere in the world. That Steve could touch him if he needed to. 

 

Steve shook his head clear and focused on the man in front of him when he heard Tony shift carefully around the children. It was still startling to look at his face and see his big brown eyes. Open and warm. Steve had spent a good portion of his time staring at Morgan’s eyes just to get a glimpse at what he remembered. Just so he wouldn’t forget them. Sketching them over and over again. But now staring in them again, made him realize that Morgan’s were just a touch too green to be her father’s. 

“Hey big guy” Tony murmured, voice still hoarse from the tubes and going unused for so long. 

Steve couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Hearing Tony’s voice was like a balm on his heart. 

“Hey, Shellhead. How are you feeling?” 

“Like my arms are asleep. I’m fine, Cap. No need to worry.” Tony had a smile on his as he watched both Peter and Morgan sleep. But when Tony looked back at him, Steve could see the pain reflecting there. “How long Steve?”

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew that Tony would have questions, but he just assumed they would be for Bruce or Pepper. 

“Six months.” Steve croaked out, tears once again filling his eyes. He swallowed them back and watched as the news hit Tony. Hard. 

“S-six months.” 

“You almost died. You were very nearly d-dead when I brought you here.” Emotion was thick in his throat and he couldn’t bear to look in Tony’s eyes as he spoke about almost losing the love of his life. 

“How am I alive? I thought I would die on the battlefield. I knew it when I switched gauntlets with Thanos.”

Steve couldn’t take it. Knowing that Tony had been prepared to die. That he made that choice knowing it would be the end. That it very nearly was. He kicked out of his chair suddenly, crossing the room to stare out at Wakanda. 

 

At the sound of his chair hitting the floor, Morgan startled awake with a cry. Steve took a breath listening to Tony soothe her gently, but having trouble because he sudden movements had caused him pain, when she continued to cry Steve scooped her up easily. Settling her against his shoulder. 

He began to rock her gently and sing softly, barely more than a whisper. 

Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
A chuid den tsaol, 's a ghrá liom  
Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
Agus gheobhair feirín amárach

He continued to sing even though he could feel eyes on him because he knew Morgan needed to sleep and this had been the only way she would for a while now.

Tá do dheaid ag teacht gan mhoill ón chnoc  
Agus cearca fraoich ar láimh leis  
Agus codlaidh go ciúin 'do luí sa choid  
Agus gheobhair feirín amárach

Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
A chuid den tsaol, 's a ghrá liom  
Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
Agus gheobhair feirín amárach

Tá an samhradh ag teacht le grian is le teas  
Agus duilliúr ghlas ar phrátaí  
Tá an ghaoth ag teacht go fial aneas  
Agus gheobhaimid iasc amárach

Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
A chuid den tsaol, 's a ghrá liom  
Dún do shúil, a rún mo chroí  
Agus gheobhair feirín amárach

 

He finished the lullaby and set Morgan down in a cot by the window. Far enough away from Tony’s bed that she wouldn’t wake if they spoke, but close enough that she could see them if she woke up. 

Sometime during the song, Peter had slipped out of the bed with Tony and settled onto the couch to play with one of Shuri’s gadgets. 

 

Steve flushed slightly knowing that Tony had watched him sing, but picked up his chair and settled back in steeling himself to answer Tony’s questions.

“When did that happen? Also, What the hell just happened? Why are you taking care of my child? Why is Pepper not here with her? Or I don’t know, why is my child in Wakanda at all and not in our house.” Steve winced at the accusatory tone.

“Pepper brought her here the day you… the day of the battle. She kind of took to me quickly. Sleeping while I held her right away, but well… as you went longer without waking up, she started having nightmares and wouldn’t sleep. One day I sang to her, a song my ma used to sing, and she settled. Now she won’t go without it.” Steve stared at his hands while he spoke, wringing them repeatedly unsure of what Tony would say.

When Steve finally braved a glance, Tony didn’t seem angry, just deep in thought. 

“And Pepper?” 

Steve sighed. He should really let Pepper explain this, but when Tony was staring at him with those big eyes begging, he didn’t stand a chance. “A month after… you came here, she was needed back at Stark Industries. With everyone back after the snap there were some problems, problems that her assistant and the board just couldn’t handle. But Morgan refused to leave you. She threw a huge temper tantrum and screamed in Pepper’s face that she loved you more and wanted you back. It was hard for her and Morgan. Pepper made her go for that first meeting, but when they came back two days later, Pepper looked rundown. From what I understand, Morgan cried for two days straight, slept in your bed holding one of your shirts, and refused to eat anything but juice pops. So, the next time she was needed in the States, I offered to watch Morgan. She was reluctant, but she needed to go and she couldn’t let Morgan starve herself again. So, she went. And everything worked out. And now, she goes back every few days and calls every single day she’s gone. It’s hard on her, but she did what she thought was best.”

 

“Wow, Capsicle. I think that is the most you’ve ever spoken in one shot that isn’t a mission report.” Tony smiled, but Steve could see the wrinkle between his brows as he processed everything. 

“She and Rhodey should be on their way back now. She was in a meeting with the board when I texted her and Rhodey would have flown in just his suit, but it isn’t safe at the moment to do long distances.”

Tony’s eyes sharpened. “What’s wrong with his suit?”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “Sweetheart, you’ve been in a coma. It’s still wrecked from Thanos. He didn’t want to mess with it and have you yell at him.”

“What about Shuri? The kids smarter than me, she could fix it.”

Steve smiled sadly. “Letting someone else fix his suit made him feel like you were gone, and you weren’t. No matter how many times you scared the crap out of us.”

“Language.” 

Steve just grinned. “Are you ever going to let that go?”

“Nope. Now tell him what happened to me.” 

Steve wanted nothing more than to forget the last six months of Tony in a coma happened and picture him just like this. Sarcastic, soft, and loving, but he couldn’t. They did happen and Tony deserved to know what happened, but damn if he didn’t wish Bruce or Shuri could tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please comment!! I am already writing Chapter 7 so hopefully that will be posted soon as well. Hope you like this<3
> 
> Translation for the lullaby:
> 
>  
> 
> Dún do Shúil  
>  Close Your Eyes
> 
> Close your eyes, my love  
> My worldly joy, my treasure  
> Close your eyes, my love  
> And you will get a present tomorrow  
> Your dad is coming from the hills  
> With game and grouse in plenty  
> So close your eyes, my love, my joy  
> And you will get a present tomorrow  
> Close your eyes, my love  
> My worldly joy, my treasure  
> Close your eyes, my love  
> And you will get a present tomorrow  
> The summer sun shines bright and warm  
> And potato stalks grow greener  
> A bracing breeze blows from the south  
> And we will have fish tomorrow  
> Close your eyes, my love  
> My worldly joy, my treasure  
> Close your eyes, my love  
> And you will get a present tomorrow


	7. The Boyband He Never Knew He Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony chat about how in the world Tony lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italics are a flashback.

"Are you sure you want to know?” Steve asked softly. Tony didn’t really understand. Why wouldn’t he want to know what they had done? 

 

“Steve. Tell me what happened ... please” Tony demanded before tacking a please at the end hoping that Steve would soften up and just tell him. 

 

“I almost lost you. We almost did. I felt you barely breathing against me before Shuri managed to save you.”

Tony watched as sorrow clouded Steve’s features, but said nothing. Just reached out a gripped his hand to urge him on. 

“You were burned by the glove. Your whole arm up to your face, but it stopped spreading when I ripped out your reactor. You were having trouble breathing when Strange made us a portal here. Third degree burns. Nerve damage in your arm. Severe gamma radiation poisoning. Concussion. Broken ribs. Punctured lung. Fractured tibia. Internal bleeding.”

Steve took a sharp breath in, but Tony watched as tears started to fall from his clear blue eyes.

“Shuri was able to fix most of that right away, but the radiation was the real problem. It was so bad that it affected your heart and was seeping into your bone marrow. Bruce didn’t know how you survived at all. The levels were higher than Hulk’s. We tried everything he could think of. Decontamination, then mostly pumping you full of potassium iodine, fluids, blood, and medicine. A week in we almost lost you. Again.”

Tony could see the pain radiating off of Steve, as he began the story of how Tony had almost died.

\-------  
_Steve was sketching Tony when something seemed wrong. It was late and he was the only one awake, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. Normally because of the serum if he listened closely, he could hear the gently beating of Tony’s heart. But as Steve focused on Tony he could hear it thumping hard in his chest. Too fast._

_Suddenly one of the machines started beeping very loudly and flashing red._

_Before Steve could even react, the doors to the infirmary slammed open and Shuri and Bruce rushed in shoving him out of the way._

_He could only stand and watch as Bruce administered medication and prepared paddles to shock Tony’s heart back into a normal rhythm._

_Steve felt Pepper come stand beside him and grip his wrist tightly, as they watched the man they love fight for his life once again._

_When Tony was finally stable, Bruce slumped into Steve’s abandoned chair._

_“The treatments aren’t working. His heart is becoming more damaged by the hour. The radiation is still too high.”_

_Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Shuri cut him off. “I can heal his heart. I have the technology for that, but even with my technology he is losing this battle.”_

_“What does he need? How can we fix it? My daughter cannot watch her father waste away into nothing. I won’t let it happen.” Pepper demanded harshly._

_Bruce winced at her tone, but answered anyway. Steve was only half paying attention as Bruce began his talk about what medical procedures they had done and the other options. He was too focused on Tony. Unconscious with tubes all over him. This is not what he wanted when he saved him from dying. He just wanted to see Tony smile and be happy. This wasn’t happy. This was pain._

_“---What about a blood transfusion?” Steve zoned in enough to hear Pepper ask._

_“We’ve been doing them. Every day. Transfusions for his red blood cells and a protein stimulator for white blood cells. It isn’t working.”_

_Steve couldn’t help but wonder if this was the end. “What about my blood?”_

_Every head in the room snapped to him. He ran a hand over the back of his neck self-consciously._

_“My blood has serum in it right? My whole body is the product of the serum. And I can survive near complete blood loss. I have several times. Maybe my blood can fight the radiation.”_

_Steve hated them staring at him. He may not be a genius like Shuri, Bruce, or Tony, but he had some brains and he listened to them sometimes. Mostly to Tony when it was science or tech related, but still he listened._

_Bruce nodded after a few minutes of complete silence. “That might work. But we don’t know the effect the serum might have on him.”_

_Pepper choked, half emotion and half laugh. “He’s dying. I am sure he will be fine with whatever superpowers the Captain inadvertently gives him.”_

_Bruce shrugged. “Alright Steve, let’s get you set up.”_

 

\----------------------

“You gave me your blood?” Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing. HE had Steve’s blood coursing through his body. Steve who wouldn’t even let Shield take a blood sample from him. Who was essentially the closest thing earth had to a god. 

Steve ducked his head and nodded. Tony didn’t understand why Steve was afraid to look at him when apparently, he had saved his life. Multiple times. 

“If you gave me blood six months ago, why am I only waking up now?” Tony was running statistics and possible outcomes in his head, while staring at Cap’s flushed face. 

“My blood kept you alive until Carol could bring you back some healing fruit that she got from space. That took a while though, she said it’s really rare.”

“So, let me get this straight. You gave me a blood transfusion and Carol fed me magic fruit and now I’m okay?”

Steve shrugged, refusing to meet Tony’s eyes, but before he could needle more out of him the door banged open and the room was flooded with people. Steve slipped his hand away as though Tony had burned him. And as much as Tony wished he wouldn’t stop holding onto him, he understood that Steve came from a time where holding a man’s hand was taboo. 

 

He let his mind wander away from Steve as Pepper came to kiss his cheek and Rhodey gave him a wet smile, while Happy flung his arms around him carefully. But he watched out of the corner of his eye as Captain America bundled up his child and rocked her as he slipped from the room. 

He interrupted Pepper’s rant about him risking his life because he really couldn’t stop thinking about Steve and how good he was with his little girl. “Where is Steve taking Morgan?”

Pepper just shrugged lightly. “It’s dinner time and she normally doesn’t nap this late. So, he is probably going to get her some dinner. We, however, brought you Cheeseburgers.” 

Tony smiled softly taking the bag from her hand and digging in. He hadn’t eaten a real meal in six months and there was no way he was passing up a burger.  
The team arrived in a crash of doors and celebratory yells not long after he started eating. There were so many people talking at once that his brain was swirling. 

“Man of Iron, it is a joyous day now that you are awake again! We must have drinks to celebrate.” Pepper put a stop to that before he could agree, which okay fair since he had been sober since Morgan was born, but he did almost die doesn’t that earn him a scotch. 

“Stark, you flatlining over there? We need to call it?” That pulled a laughed from him and a smack from Wanda. Which only made Tony laugh harder at Clint’s disgruntled expression. 

“Are we going to have to lock you in your room next time there’s a fight, Tony?” Wanda’s playful grin was something he didn’t think he would see, not after vision was killed, but here it was as she made fun of his life choices. He rolled his eyes and snarked back easily. “Let’s not overexaggerate Wanda dear.” 

Sam was quiet compared to the others only a soft, “Good to have you back, Stark.” 

“We really missed you Mister Stark. I am so glad we won and that you’re okay, sir. I’m glad that you didn’t get all dusty like me. Captain America knew just what to do and he just picked you up and saved you. He like refused to let you die. It was great. ” Tony couldn’t help but smile at the boys rambling. He had hugged Peter earlier, but him being awake had shocked the teen so much that he just cried and held onto Tony in a vicelike grip. 

 

Morgan broke through everyone’s chatter by running to his bed screaming “Daddy!” As though she hadn’t just slept on top of him an hour before, stopping only to kiss her mother along the way, before clambering into his arms once more with the help of Happy. He managed to sit up enough to hug her properly, but his muscles were still very sore from disuse. 

Tony couldn’t help but peak at Steve, who was leaning against the doorway watching, while he hugged her so tightly she laughed and begged for mercy.

 

The only thing that could have made it better was Natasha and Vision, but had things been different he would have been with them in the afterlife, so he was sure they didn’t mind the reprieve from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....... What do you think?


	8. Why is he here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pepper have a chat. Tony POV.

Tony was exhausted. Not only had he just awoken from a coma, but he had been entertaining the Avengers and listening to stories of the past six months for hours. But when nearly everyone went to bed, he found himself too restless to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to go home or at least get out of this damn bed. Instead he had to occupy his time with his tablet, which Steve had left on his bedside table. 

But working was harder than normal because rather than sleep in her own bed, Morgan had wrapped herself around him like a koala while he sat up in his hospital bed and promptly fallen asleep. Not that he didn’t enjoy burying his face in her hair and smelling her sweet baby shampoo, but it wasn’t conducive to actually getting anything done. 

The only person awake was Pepper, who was sitting on her phone in the chair beside his bed, which he couldn’t help but refer to as Steve’s chair since both times he had woken up today Steve had been firmly planted there. But now he couldn’t help but peek across the room to the oversized couch that Steve was sprawled out on. One arm thrown over his eyes, the other wrapped around Peter who had curled into Steve’s large form. 

He was beautiful. Tony had always thought so, but here, now, taking care of Tony’s kids as though they were his own. That only made Steve more of an unattainably beautiful person. 

 

Tony jerked slightly out of his thoughts when he realized that Pepper was watching him intently. He could feel the color rise in his cheeks but did his best to will it away.

“So. Six Months.” He managed to choke out while clearing his throat. 

She just sighed, setting aside her phone. “Yes, Tony. Six months. It was hard, but Steven was a big help.” 

“Steven..?” 

Tony watched as she quirked a brow at him. “Yes, Tony. Steven. It’s the Captain’s name.”

“No. It’s his full name. No one calls him Steven. Not even Fury. I only call him that when he does something idiotic.” Tony wasn’t sure why it felt like a betrayal for someone else to call Steve, Steven, but it did. It felt like he wasn’t special anymore. Like maybe he was never special to begin with.

“Well, he’s been taking care of our daughter. I can’t just keep calling him, Captain.” Tony could see the confusion tracing itself over her delicate features, but he couldn’t help but drown out the logic of it all. 

Tony shifted up further in the bed, still cradling Morgan, but he wanted to get away. He wanted to bury himself in his lab and never come up for air. Were Pepper and Steve … together? He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He and Pepper may not be married, but they co-parent and live together. Would she really have moved on to the man he had been half in love with since he was 13 and fully in love with since basically New York all those years ago? This shouldn’t be hurting him. He knows that Steve is straight, but why Pepper? Why his family? Did Steve regret him waking up? Why was Steve even still here?

The next thing he knew, Morgan was being gently tugged from his arms, but he was so caught up in his head he couldn’t even protest. He just watched as Pepper carried his baby to Steve and placed her on his chest. A few whispered words in his ear and Steve’s arm was tight around her so she wouldn’t fall, but he barely seemed to stir. Like he had done that same move hundreds of times. Maybe he had. Six months was a long time. His daughter was not even five yet, was she closer to Steve than him? Did she love him more? He had never been good enough for his own father, maybe he wasn’t good enough for his daughter either.

There were suddenly cool hands pressed against his cheeks, pulling him out of his head so he could focus on Pepper’s blue eyes. Not quite as blue as Steve’s, more gray really. Steve’s were perfectly blue, with little flecks of green. 

“Tony. Breathe. And tell me what’s going on in that big brain.” Her voice was soft and soothing, something she had picked up after years of coaxing him out of panic attacks. 

 

 

Tony closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, thinking about how to word his thoughts, but in the end he just spit out the first thing that made any sense. 

“Are you and Cap a thing now? Is that why he takes care of Morgan?” His tone was harsh and he hadn’t necessarily meant it to sound so mean, but it hurt to think about. 

Tony wasn’t expecting the sharp laugh that bubbled out of her. “No. We have never and will never be a thing, Anthony. He takes care of Morgan because she refuses to leave your side and she got very attached to him very quickly. Did you forget all the stories you told about him? She loves him because you taught her how. Plus, I needed to go back and forth to New York for some urgent Stark Industries matters. Who better to take care of her than Captain America? You really think he would take care of her if he didn’t want to? That there has to be any reason besides the fact that she’s your child?”

 

That made sense he supposed, but it didn’t explain why Steve was even here. “Well, why is he here? Couldn’t Bruce call him if I needed another blood transfusion? It’s a little strange for Captain America to all of a sudden decide I am worthy of his time.” 

He really didn’t expect the smack across the head, but he should have. The coma must have affected his thought process. He knew that was a shitty thing to say especially about Steve who had trusted Tony to get him back from the past without even a shadow of a doubt.

“Anthony Edward Stark. That man saved your life. And has been continuing to keep you alive since then. I don’t know what he managed to tell you, but there was no one and done blood transfusion. He has been giving you blood every week for six months. So much blood that he can barely recover before they take more, and he did it for you. No one else but you. You may still have anger stored up from your fight nearly eight years ago, but when it came down to it Tony, he chose you over everything. He hasn’t left this room, much less Wakanda since he came through that portal. And the only time he has left your side is when absolutely necessary to his hygiene or Morgan. He sleeps here Tony. He has a room, but he sleeps in this chair or that couch.” She spoke in a hissed whisper, but he was sure she would be yelling it not for the sleeping kids, and the man in question being just across the room. 

When she was done, she fell back into the chair with a huff, not bothering to look at him. 

 

“But with that many transfusions, couldn’t that affect the serum? What if he lost his powers?”

She leaned forward then, gripping his hand tight enough to hurt. “He didn’t care. Bruce went over possible side effects. Told him if the serum depleted, he could even die, but he didn’t care. He thought you were worth it.”

Tony leaned back into his pillows trying to digest all of the new information. Pepper slipped out of the room, but he barely noticed. He just sat there thinking about his savior. Steve Rogers, not Captain America. Contemplating meaning something to Steve, maybe even something more than leaders of the Avengers, more than just the person who bought expensive things or created gadgets. Maybe meaning as much to Steve as Steve meant to him. 

He fell asleep staring at the hard lines of Steve’s face, which were mostly covered with a thick beard. One that hadn’t been present since Steve’s time on the run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. thoughts? 
> 
> I am posting Chapter 9 almost immediately after this. I am just finishing editing. 
> 
> Questions? Concerns? Thoughts? 
> 
> I just graduated law school so I am excited to be able to finish this soon.


	9. Doing What's Best for Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve overhears Tony.

Steve wished he wasn’t buried under Morgan and Peter. That he could run away from the harsh words Tony spit at Pepper. 

Did Tony really think so little of him? That he would make moves on Tony’s wife? That he wouldn’t do everything he could possibly do to keep Tony alive and safe? Had Steve messed up so badly that Tony didn’t even think that he was capable of protecting him without an ulterior motive? That he needed a reason to care for his children? That it wasn’t reason enough that Morgan had Tony’s eyes and his sharp wit?

 

Steve hadn’t meant to listen to any of the conversation, but he tuned out after hearing that Tony believed Steve thought him unworthy of his time. No one was more worthy of anything than Tony. He just saved the whole universe, but even before that, even back in his lab watching him with his robots or at Clint’s farm while on the run just chopping wood together, no one had ever been as worthy of time, attention, and love as Tony.

Had Steve really fucked things up this badly? God he should just leave now. Go back to New York and just disappear. It’s not like anyone really needs him anyway. The Avengers were doing fine in the rebuild of the compound and dealing with any possible threats. Tony was awake now and could take care of his daughter better than Steve ever could. No one really needed him. Least of all Tony. 

 

 

Steve waited for Tony’s breaths to even out and his heartrate to slow before slipping off the couch with Morgan still curled into his neck. Peter groaned slightly but didn’t wake and turned over to spread himself out, taking up as much space as possible. 

 

He carried Morgan to Pepper’s room, setting her in her cot beside the bed before meeting the calculating eyes of Mrs. Pepper Potts-Stark. 

“Your leaving.” There was no question there. She knew the answer. Probably even knew he was awake for her and Tony’s fight. 

“I’m not needed here anymore. He will be happier with me gone. And the only thing that really matters to me is him being happy.” 

She frowned, her eyes roaming his face. “If that’s what you really want. Just know that whatever he said, he didn’t mean it to be hurtful to you. He didn’t even know you were awake, and his mind is still in overdrive. He just woke up from a coma, Captain. He needs some time to understand. You don’t have to leave. He was confused, but I know he doesn’t want that.”

Steve just smiled sadly. “It’s for the best. He will be happier with me gone. Thank you, Pepper for letting me get to know your child. I know it can’t have been easy knowing how I feel about him.”

She nodded, pulling him into a hug before letting him step to the side of Morgan’s cot to say goodbye. He ran a hand over her soft curls and dropped a kiss to her forehead before slipping a drawing from his pocket and setting it on her pillow along with Tony’s arc reactor. He wanted to take it with him so badly. To keep just a piece of Tony, but he knew that Morgan was attached to it and often couldn’t sleep without that piece of her father, so he left it behind and closed the door softly, ignoring the judging gaze from Pepper. 

 

 

As he packed his few belongings into the bag with Tony’s initials etched in the side, he easily slipped a needle into his arm to collect his blood for Tony one last time. He knew that Bruce planned one more transfusion for the next day and no matter what Tony had said he wouldn’t leave without giving it. 

Once his bag was packed, he sat writing a letter to Tony on the last page of his sketch book as he collected 4 pints of blood to give, easily maneuvering the blood bags and needles as though he himself was a doctor and not just a super soldier who had never given blood to anyone before Tony. For anyone else they could die from the sheer volume of blood removed, but not him. He could lose more, but he gave the amount that Bruce deemed safe for his own life. Even though he wasn’t sure what his life really meant without the Avengers and without Tony. 

 

He slipped back into Tony’s room, even though he knew he shouldn’t and placed the blood in the little refrigerator designated for bodily fluids before setting his sketchbook on Tony’s bedside table and a note in Peter’s hand. Before he left, he dropped a kiss to Peter’s forehead and one on Tony’s cheek. He shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Not this time. Even if Tony was asleep for it. 

 

 

He stood dressed in his tactical suit, shield strapped to his back contemplating what to do next. He knew that he couldn’t fly a jet after giving that much blood, but it didn’t keep him from considering it. Instead, he knocked on Sam’s door. Sam who would help him no matter what. 

 

Sam opened the door bleary eyed, but as soon as he saw Steve’s gear and bag, he slipped to attention, fully alert. 

“Cap, is there a mission? The rest of us can go, you don’t have to leave.”

“Can you fly me to New York? I am in no shape to fly.” 

Steve couldn’t say he was surprised, when Bucky came up behind Sam, wrapping an arm around his waist. “What’s the mission, Stevie?”

Steve couldn’t help, but stare at his shoes embarrassed. “No mission. I need to go to New York, I would fly myself, but I just gave blood. If you can’t Sam, its fine. I understand. I will go ask Clint.” Steve turned on his heel ready to flee. Prepared to take whatever teasing Clint dished out. 

But Bucky’s solid metal arm wrapped around his bicep, holding him in place. “Woah. Steve. We will take you, just calm down, okay? Come in and we will get dressed and head out.”

 

Steve sat on the very edge of their bed and stared at his hands while they got dressed. 

“Are you going to tell us why you need to go to New York at three o’clock in the morning?” Bucky asked while prepping a bag.

He shook his head, not bothering to look at Bucky, or Sam who was silently watching him. 

“Is it about Stark? Because he woke up?” Steve sighed. He knew Bucky would ask a ton of questions, but he had hoped that Sam would be alone tonight, which was his own fault. He knew they had barely left each other since coming back from the snap. But Sam would at least just judge him quietly and not force him to speak. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled softly, but there were no more questions. And when they were done, he was surprised to see them in full tactical, even though he was dressed similarly. He had told them there was no mission. So, there was really no need to get dressed for a fight, but Bucky brushed off his comments and led them out of the room. 

He followed behind as they slipped through the halls careful not to wake anyone. He stopped at the last Dora Milaje he saw before the jet and asked her to tell King T’Challa that he was grateful for his hospitality. 

 

He laid back into the seats of the Quinjet after hooking himself up to an IV, while Sam and Bucky prepared for flight. All he could do is close his eyes and picture Tony’s face slack with sleep, bright with a smile, and exhausted but content. All just from today. He ran over every feature just imbedding it into his memory, hoping that it was enough. That he would be able to remember everything about him. He didn’t want to forget a single detail. 

 

Sam seemed to understand because just after he got to bird in the sky, he wandered back to where Steve had laid out and placed a book in his lap. A clean Sketchbook. 

“We keep new ones in our room, just in case you are having a rough time. I know you’ve gone through quite a few since being here. Why don’t you draw him? So, you don’t forget.”

That was all it took for Steve to breakdown and sob into his friend’s chest. 

He had the two people who understood him most, but they weren’t Tony. Tony who knew practically everything he was thinking before he thought it. Tony who he had been in love for so long he couldn’t even remember when it began. 

They weren’t even fully out of Wakanda, but Steve missed Tony and he missed the kids. He wished this was another life, where Tony might actually love him. But at least in this life, Tony was alive. He wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo?
> 
> Steve thinks Tony is Married. Tony is not married as per Chapter 8.


	10. Letters, Love, and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Steve leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics is a letter from Steve.

When Tony opened his eyes the next morning, he expected to see Steve. In the chair beside his bed or on the couch still asleep. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Instead Rhodey was beside him, silently flipping through a thick black book and Bruce was setting him up with a blood transfusion. 

He shifted up in bed, careful not to pull on the IVs. “What’s going on? I thought I was fine. Why am I getting more blood?” His voice and head were still groggy with sleep. 

Bruce laid a hand on his shoulder. “I spoke will Steve after you woke up and we agreed that one last transfusion would help get you on your feet.”

Tony nodded slowly. Still not completely understanding why he needed more because he felt fine, but he wasn’t a doctor. 

“Well where is Cap? Pep said he doesn’t normally leave me alone.” 

“You’re not alone, Tony.” Rhodey reminded him in a voice that was entirely too soft for his best friend. What was wrong now? He was alive and nearly fully functioning.

“Aw, Platypus I know I’m not alone with you here. Did Steve go to sleep in a bed or something? Pepper said he hadn’t slept in a bed recently.”

Instead of answering right away, Rhodey handed him the black book he was flipping through. “There is a letter toward the end. He left it for you. He’s gone Tony. He went back to the States, most likely. He left in the middle of the night.”

Tony’s chest hurt. Why would Steve leave? Without saying goodbye? He had only just woken up. What if he got sick again? Didn’t he care? Was there a mission? How long had it been since Steve went on a mission? Did he remember how to fight? Did he even still have abs? 

“Was there a mission?” Tony asked quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

Rhodey just shook his head softly. 

“Do you know why?”

Rhodey grimaced slightly. “I think it’s better if you just read what he wrote and then maybe talk to Pepper. She was the last to see him other than Sam and Bucky who both went with him. They should be back tomorrow though. If you want to talk to them.”

Tony couldn’t help his heart dropping in his chest. Steve left with Bucky. And Sam. But still it was like Siberia all over again. Him being left behind. 

Tony just flipped the book open instead of asking anymore questions. Rhodey and Bruce took the hint and left the room to give him some privacy, except for Peter who was still asleep on the couch.

The first dozen pages were pictures of him sleeping. Different lighting and angles, but all of him. Then Morgan and Peter and even Harley filled the pages along with him. Him as Iron Man. Him carrying Morgan at the Lake House. Him in a suit. Him in the lab. All him. In perfect detail. Peter and Morgan curled around him in his hospital bed. The last image was him laughing surrounded by the Avengers and his children. 

He couldn’t help the tears that rolled down his face at Steve’s perfect renditions of events that spanned years. Each of his armors noted in the corner of the page by their Mark number. 

He knew that Steve had an eidetic memory, but this was unreal. He couldn’t help but wish that Steve was here to show these to him. He paused before the last few pages, that were clearly filled with Steve’s neat slanted writing. Did he want to know why Steve left him again? Why he wasn’t here? 

Yeah. He did. If only to ease his mind.

\-------------

 

_Tony,_

_I swore to myself that I wouldn’t leave your side, but I guess I’m pretty shit at keeping my promises when it comes to you. I know. I know. Language. Will you ever let me live that down?_

_You were right. You got your second chance, well maybe you’re on your third now, but that little girl is perfect, and you got Pete back. Tony you have everything, and I don’t want to be in the way of that._

_Thank you. For not hating me when you found out I’ve been taking care of your kids. The time with them meant a lot to me and I know it’s terrible of me to leave without saying goodbye to you or the kids, but if you had asked me to stay I would have and god Morgan has your eyes Tony and when she looks up at me asking me to do something. I just can’t say no. Plus who knows what the kid would babble at me to make me want to stay._

_Pete knows how to find me if I’m needed, I left him the number, so he can call in case Morgan needs to be sung to or for me to make sure he’s doing his work. But if you prefer no contact. I will change it and leave them alone too. Just don’t let Pete fool you, he is taking the semester of high school virtually. I got him special permission because the principal’s dad was a commando. Don’t worry they signed a bunch of Non-disclosures courtesy of Pepper that said no one could mention where he was or that you were in a coma._

_They are both so smart its crazy. Harley too. He would be here, but he has finals at MIT. He said he will come by after. Give him a call I’m sure he would appreciate some science talk with you. I know Peter isn’t your blood, but he reminds me of you. Ask him about the changes he’s been making to his armor. I’m sure he would love to get your opinion. Those kids think the world of you._

_I hope you don’t hate me for leaving. I just want you to be happy._

_I know I did wrong by you. I hate that you have any doubt in your mind that I wouldn’t do everything I could to keep you alive. That to me you are worthy of everything. Of the whole world._

_We won this time Tony, thanks to you. You got everything we lost back, but it’s odd to me that none of that even matters. The only thing that matters is that you didn’t die doing it. I wouldn’t be able to live in a world without you in it. I don’t want to._

_I’m glad you found everything you want in this world Tony, but I can’t sit by and watch. I’m sorry it’s selfish, but seeing you married with children rips me to pieces. But I know I ripped you apart first. I wish things had been different. That I had just told you all the things that really mattered during the accords, but I didn’t, and I hurt you. I will take my last breath regretting that moment._

_I am glad you’re okay. That you’re alive. Stay that way, please._

_I am going to ask Sam to fly me to New York, which means Bucky is probably going to come too. No one mentioned it because its Bucky, but he and Sam are together. But they aren’t staying with me. They’ll be back to Wakanda. I am not sure where I’ll go. The new compound is nearly complete, but I don’t want to take over your space if you want to go back there. There’s always Brooklyn. The government owes me a hell of a lot of money, so don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Maybe I will find a place to fit in that isn’t the Avengers. Maybe I won’t. But Captain America will always be here to save the world if needed._

_Don’t worry about your last blood transfusion. I’m collecting my blood right now, so that I can leave it for Bruce to use in the morning. I wouldn’t leave you without making sure it was safe._

_Remember. No matter what, if you need me, I’ll be there._

_I love you,  
Steve _

 

\-----------

Tony closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillows. Steve overheard him and Pepper. That’s why he left. He couldn’t help but sigh. He should have known that even asleep Cap hears everything. Also, why the hell does he think that Tony and Pepper were married? Maybe it was a 40s thing. Not as okay with kids born out of wedlock. 

Before Tony could think about what to do next, the door slammed open with Morgan running through carrying a drawing and …. His arc reactor? 

 

“DADDYYYYY!!” She shouted clearly upset, as she clambered up unto his bed. 

“What’s wrong, squirt?” 

She set the picture and the arc reactor onto his lap, staring up at him with her bottom lip quivering. “Papa left. Momma said so. Why did he leave? When is he coming back?” 

Tony couldn’t take her giant brown eyes begging him for answers. He would fix this. If only for his kids. 

“Don’t worry, baby girl. He will come back. Daddy will make sure. Okay? Now where did you get daddy’s heart?”

She nodded thoughtfully still clearly upset, before grinning down at his old reactor taking it in her tiny hands to show him. 

“It’s your heart that you gave Papa when you were mad. He gave it to me when you got hurt.”

Tony could barely believe his daughters words. After five years Steve still had his arc reactor, and he had it on him during the fight? Why would he even keep it?

“What about your drawing?” He asked in a soft voice. 

“Papa, drew our family. Me, you, Peter, Harley, Mama, and Papa. He made me one before. But there was no Papa. So, he made a new one because I asked.”

She showed him the picture and it was all of them, with Steve off to the side, but it was still all of them. 

Tony was too far into his head, while staring at her picture and the reactor while she told him stories, that he didn’t notice that Peter had shuffled over with his own note clutched in his hand. 

“Hey Mr. Stark, is Steve really gone?” His voice was small, like a child who had lost too much family already. 

“Don’t worry, kid. He’ll come back. He wouldn't leave you guys for long.” Tony tried his best to be reassuring, but he wasn’t sure how he would get Steve back. But he would. Even if it was only to scream at him for saying he loved him in a letter and for abandoning the kids. He would get him back. 

“Why don’t you take Morgan and go get some breakfast? I will give Cap a call.” Peter was reluctant to leave, but agreed in the end. 

 

 

When the kids left, Peter holding Morgan’s hand and listening to her talk animatedly, he slid out of his blankets and swung out of bed on unsteady feet. He slid on his Friday glasses and tugged his IV pole with him to stare out the large window. His legs felt weak, but he fought through it. 

 

“Friday?” He asked tentatively. It had been a while since he used his glasses. He wasn't sure if they even still worked.

“Welcome back Boss.” He sighed in relief at hearing her voice. 

“Friday, can you get a reading on where Steve is?”

“Scanning…. I have a GPS lock on the Quinjet that the Captain took with Mr. Barnes and Wilson. It is on the Helipad of the new compound located 22.3 miles from your New York lake home and on the other side of the Hudson River from the destroyed compound.”

“Does he have any devices that you can get a read on and call?”

“One. A Stark phone from 2016. Would you like to place a call sir?”

“No. Send an alert to the team and tell them that I am calling Steve to come back, and no one should answer any calls from him, until I give the okay.”

“Done, Boss.”

“Okay. Now I need you to contact Steve and tell him he is urgently needed back in Wakanda. That there's something wrong.”

“Should I tell him something specific if he asks, sir?”

“I don’t know Friday. That the blood transfusion isn’t working, or I am fighting an infection and very sick. I don’t care. Just tell him I am sick and asking for him. Just make him come back, Friday.”

“On it, Boss.”

Tony’s knees buckled and he just barely managed to keep himself from sprawling onto his back, but that didn’t mean his knees didn’t knock hard at their contact with the floor. 

He sighed. This was going to be a long recovery. But hopefully Steve would be here for it. 

 

\--------------------

Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he got to New York, but it wasn’t to be woken up an hour after landing by a phone call. He didn’t really expect anyone would want to talk to him. And very few people even knew how to reach him. 

“Rogers.” He grumbled out, barely opening his eyes.

“Captain Rogers. You are needed urgently in Wakanda.” Friday’s crisp voice rang out in his ear.

Steve bolted upright in his bed. Scrambling to register her words. 

“What’s wrong? Is it Tony? The kids? A mission?”

“I am afraid that it is Mister Stark, sir. He needs you in Wakanda.”

“Is he hurt? Is he okay? He was fine when I left Friday. What happened?”

“He is unwell and asking for you Captain. I believe that he attempted to walk before he was ready and while receiving his blood transfusion. He has injured himself sir and I think it would be best if you returned before he injures himself further. He is being most uncooperative.”

Steve sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. He shouldn’t have left. He should have stayed even if it sucked seeing Tony with Pepper. Damn Tony needed him and the kids were probably going crazy seeing him hurt again. 

“Friday, can you power up the jet? And ask Sam and Bucky to meet me there?”

“Of course, Captain.”

He shoved his phone into his bag and dressed quickly before bolting to the jet. He wouldn’t let Tony get hurt or sick. Not when he just woke up. When he finally got him back. He would give all the blood in his body to protect him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo. Its longer than my last ones, so sorry for those that I promised it would be out the next day. I am about 2.5 hours late. 
> 
> It did not double check my writing so there may be mistakes. I will catch them on my next read most likely. So i am sorry if any of the grammar or spelling sucks. Its late and i'm too tired to edit. But i am going to post anyways.


	11. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve goes back to Wakanda.

Sam and Bucky put the jet in the sky toward Wakanda with next to no complaining. They could see that Steve was agitated just by his pacing and the visible tension running through him. 

 

“So, Cap. What’s going on? We just left Wakanda six hours ago.” Sam asked coming up to place a calming hand on Steve’s shoulder, after relinquishing the flight controls to Bucky.

“I got a call from Friday. Something’s wrong with Tony. And no one is answering. Even Bruce and Pepper. I shouldn’t have left him. He just woke up. This was so stupid.” Steve’s hands were shaking and his grip on his phone was so tight he nearly crushed the delicate device. He felt like he might throw up from the anxiety and guilt.

“Did you try the kid? He never puts his phone down and if something’s going on, he will tell you.”

Steve shook his head. But it was true. Pete never left a room without his phone. 

He stepped away to video call him. When it finally went through, both kid’s faces were displayed on his screen. 

“Papa!!!” “Steve! What’s going on? Why did you leave” “Are you coming back, Papa?” “We already miss you. Mr. Stark does too.” Both kids were talking at once and it was hard to understand. 

“Yes, I am on my way back now, Doll. Why don’t you draw me a picture while I talk to Petey, okay?” 

Morgan nodded and slipped out of the frame. He took a breath before focusing on Peter. 

“Pete, what happened to Tony? Is he okay?”

“He fell? Is that what you mean? I had to pick him up off the floor. He said he was just dizzy and his legs were weak, but Pepper and Bruce were yelling at him after. Telling him how dumb he was being. They are running a whole bunch of tests. Plus, he hadn’t finished his blood transfusion yet when Morgan and I found him. I’m watching Morgan right now, while they do all the medical stuff. He was asking about you though. He kind of passed out for a bit after I found him on the floor, but his was mumbling your name, but you know Mr. Stark he doesn’t like to ask for help. Are you going to stay when you come back? Morgan and I miss you already. Plus leaving while we are sleeping is not cool. If you didn’t want to be with us, you could have just said---”

 

Steve cut off Peter’s rambling. “I always want to be with you kids, Pete. I just needed to get away. And I regret it. Okay? I’m coming back right now. I should be there in another hour. We are pushing hyperspeed.”

Peter flashed a grin before saying goodbye and ending the call to go take care of Morgan. 

God, he had messed up. Dizziness. Passing out. He shouldn’t have left. 

 

\---------

 

The jet wasn’t even on the ground before Steve jumped out and took off into the castle. He didn’t stop for anyone. The only thing on his mind was Tony. He needed to see Tony and make sure he was okay. Alive. 

He skidded passed avengers and Dora Milaje, not bothering to stop. Even when Happy called out to him. He called out a polite greeting to King T’Challa, but just pushed himself to run faster. 

He slammed the door to the infirmary open nearly breaking it in two, eyes frantically scanning for Tony. But he wasn’t in his bed. Steve sighed in relief when he found him sitting in the fluffy armchair by the window. Still hooked up to blood and IV medication, with his eyes closed and the sunlight dancing across his face. He looked tired, but alive. 

Steve slid to his knees in front of Tony’s chair, running his hands over Tony’s face checking for new injuries. He only managed to choke out Tony’s name, not able to calm his racing heart. 

“I’m fine Steven.” Tony grumbled opening his eyes. 

Steve sighed in relief leaning his head against Tony’s stomach. 

Tony shoved him away hard, causing Steve to sprawl backwards in shock, before tugging out the IVs and getting to his feet. 

“Tony. Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself!” 

“No. I won’t. The only thing hurting me is you.” Tony snarled at him, swaying slightly on his feet, but maintaining his distance and managing to stay standing. 

Steve was shocked to hear how vicious Tony sounded. 

“Tony I wouldn’t hurt you. Not again.” He murmured softly, reaching out for Tony, still kneeling in front of him.

\------

Tony scoffed. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Steve actually thought he hadn’t hurt him with this. That leaving. Again. Hadn’t hurt him. 

“You wouldn’t hurt me. That’s rich. What do you think waking up to only a letter and finding out you fled in the night did to me? Hmm. Do you think it made me happy, Captain Douche?”

Steve opened his mouth to respond, but Tony cut him off. “And telling me you love me in a letter? How about that? Do you think that didn’t hurt? That you supposedly love me but can’t stand to stay after I wake up. Really happy vibes going here, Rogers. Not to mention that I had to deal with the kids after you just disappeared on them.”

Tony’s knees felt weak and he knew he was trembling, both from anger and exertion. But he didn’t care. He only cared about making Steve know that he was an ass. 

“Tony, sweetheart. Please sit down. You look like you are going to fall over.” Steve was begging, still kneeling a few feet away. Tony couldn’t help but think how in any other situation, Steve kneeling and begging would be so hot. But now it just pissed him off. 

“No. I want answers and you can’t tell me what to do. And don’t call me Sweetheart, like you actually care about me.”

That brought Steve reeling to his feet. The action was so sudden, Tony stumbled back nearly falling, but Steve caught him by the arms and kept him standing. He allowed himself to be steered to his bed, conceding that perhaps he didn’t want this conversation focused on the fact that he could barely stand on his own. 

Tony watched as Steve stepped back, turning away from Tony, and running a hand through his hair. It was longer than during the battle, like Steve just hadn’t bothered with it. His hair and his beard reminded him of all the photos he had saved on Friday’s interface of Steve during his two years on the run. Grainy surveillance footage, but still all he had from those years. 

When he turned back, Tony noticed his eyes were welled up. Damn, stupid attractive asshole, don’t cry. It would make it harder to be angry. He needed to be angry, so he didn’t just fling himself into Steve’s arms and beg him to stay. 

 

“Tony. I wasn’t lying. I love you. I have probably always loved you and I always will. But, I had to leave. I can’t stay here and watch you be happy with someone else. I know that that sounds so selfish and that Pepper is a wonderful person. A wonderful mom too. But I just can’t watch you love someone else. It will destroy me. I heard some of your conversation yesterday and I promise, I have never made a move on Pepper. I wouldn’t do that. Even if I wasn’t in love with you. And I love those kids. So much. I would have helped care for them regardless of how I feel.”

Tony took a deep breath. His mind swimming.

“I am not married to Pepper, you idiot.” Was all he managed to spit out.

Steve gapped at him. It really should have been unattractive, but Tony had learned by now that nothing Steve Rogers did was unattractive. 

“But… You and her… Morgan.. and the ring. She wears one, I know she does Tony.”

“Yeah, she wears a ring. Because I proposed to her on National television. And it helps the board and other competitors, not be assholes about a woman who used to be my secretary running Stark Industries. But we never actually got married. Do you think I would get married without my family there? The avengers are my family. Even if so many of us were snapped.”

Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed to continue, but he really wasn’t sure he wanted to say anymore. Steve, however, seemed to understand that there was more to be said and remained quiet. 

“When I came back from space, we found out she was two months pregnant, and I was so happy. But also terrified. I had a dream that she was pregnant before I was sent into space. But we thought it was just a dream. One that I was so excited about, but we realized before Morgan was even born that we weren’t going to work out as a couple. So, we live together to raise our daughter, but we aren't together. Morgan knows that too. That Pep and I love each other, but that we aren't together and she has never had to see us fall apart because I am not in love with her mother. She only knows love. I had a lot of mind numbingly long days in space, Steven. Where I thought about everything that I wished was different and all the things I wished I had said. I even recorded some of it. That is when I really admitted to myself that I loved you, was in love with you, and that I was going to die never telling you. But I was also super pissed off because of the Siberia situation. Mostly because I still loved you despite it all. So, when I came back, I was happy to still be alive, but I wasn’t going to ruin everything by telling you. You have never made any indication that you were anything but straight, and that you would ever love anyone, but Peggy. I had Pepper. So, what was the point?”

 

Tony was staring down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact as he finished speaking. 

But Steve didn't say a word. After a few long seconds of silence, Tony felt a hand on his face and then there were lips on his. A gentle kiss, so perfectly, mind numbingly, sweet, that Tony couldn’t help but melt into Steve. Letting his eyes slip closed and his face be cradled as though he was breakable. It was everything he had ever wanted. 

It felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Should I end it here or do you want one more chapter that is like an epilogue?


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve POV. He finds his home.

It was two more weeks until Tony was well enough to travel back to the States. Two weeks of him throwing himself into work, complaining about the lack of his lab, with only his laptop, tablet, and Friday to aid him. Two weeks of pushing his body too hard too fast and collapsing back into Steve when it became too much. Two weeks where Steve felt every one of his 105 years on this earth, rather than the 35 years he had actually been awake for. But he wouldn’t have it any other way because this was Tony, his Tony, who despite being a genius didn’t seem to know what the word patience meant. 

But now, they were together on the Quinjet headed back to New York. Steve didn’t know what would happen once they landed, but he knew that this was where he belonged. Sitting staring at Tony, while he spoke about science that went way over Steve’s head with Peter and Harley, who had flown to Wakanda immediately after his last final assignment was submitted, while Morgan sat delicately in Steve’s lap drawing a picture into his sketch book with crayons. 

This was Family. His family. But so was Clint arguing with Sam about the proper way to fly the jet, while Bucky threatened to throw him out of the plane. Bruce, Thor, and Wanda playing cards and reminiscing about Vision and Natasha. Rhodey, Carol, Pepper, and Happy laughing and chatting happily. It was the two armors, Rescue and War Machine, standing in sentry mode even though this was the safest place in the world right now. 

This was his family and he was so glad they could be here together. 

He looked down at Morgan, sweet Morgan, who was nearly a carbon copy of Tony, but who would rather draw with Steve than listen to her dad talk about time travel or robots. Not that she wouldn’t be able to follow some of their conversation. She was remarkably bright. As smart as Steve was sure Tony was at nearly five. 

“What are you drawing, Baby Doll?” He murmured softly, planting a kiss to the crown of her head.

“It’s our family, Papa.” Her tiny voice was so matter-of-fact it was startling, and even after hearing her call him Papa for months it still made his heart clench. Because now he and Tony were together, maybe not enough that Tony would want to spend the rest of their lives together. But enough that Morgan had seemed to grasp that calling him Papa was more acceptable now, especially since Steve had stopped gently reminding her of his name when she did it. Steve didn’t know what would happen when they landed because he and Tony had been taking things one day at a time, but he would savor this moment with Morgan babbling on about her picture, pointing out each of them in the crayon drawing. Him and Tony, Morgan, Peter, and Harley, Pepper and Happy. He was shocked that she had picked that one up. Pepper and Happy hadn’t told the children that they were considering dating yet. But his daughter was brilliant. His daughter. That felt good to say, even just in his head. 

“And what about on this page?” Steve asked pointing to the adjoining page that was full of little blobby people. 

“That’s the avengers.” She grinned up at him, before beginning to name them all. 

“And this one is Auntie Nat. Momma says she is in heaven now and when I asked Daddy he cried. He said he doesn't believe in heaven, but he hopes that's where she is. Why can’t we get Aunt Nat back, Papa? Like Daddy is trying to do for Vision?”

Steve swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat. “Well, baby girl, Your Daddy made Vision because he is just so so smart, but Auntie Nat is a human being like Daddy and Papa. You can’t bring a human back from Heaven, baby. It’s just not possible.”

“But you brought Daddy back. And he almost went to heaven a bunch of times. You should try to bring Auntie Nat back, okay?” She stared up at him with wide expectant eyes and he couldn’t help, but agree.

“I’ll try.” He managed to croak out, making eye contact with Tony as he did. He blinked back tears and leaned back into his seat, praying to god, wishing that there was someway to try to bring Natasha back to them. 

 

\--------------------  
When they landed at the compound, Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t Tony and the kids coming off the plane. He had expected them to go back to Tony’s beautiful lake house. He had walked in on Pepper and Tony talking quietly and heard the word house just last week, but he had backed out of the room to give them privacy. He knew that his relationship with Tony was too new for him to have an opinion. This wasn't a mission, so his thoughts just didn't matter. 

But here he was being steered away from the main compound building by Tony’s firm grip on his wrist. While Peter and Harley swung Morgan along behind them. 

“Close your eyes.” Tony ordered in his ear and Steve complied, a shiver running down his spine. He was never afraid of what would happen to him when Tony was around and if the kids hadn't been right there, the authoritative tone Tony had used would have made him do a lot more than just shiver. 

He allowed himself to be dragged all the way down a gravel path, until he was finally told he could stop and open his eyes. 

 

There was a house. A beautiful huge house. More like a mansion really. That had definitely not been there when he had flown to the Compound two weeks ago. The kids took off running into the house, but Steve just stared between the house and Tony. 

“What—” Steve started, but Tony cut him off.

“It’s our new house. Well it is if you want to live with me. I know I am a handful, and I work a lot, and I don’t listen, and I have three kids, well sort of since Harley is at MIT and Peter still has to live with May, but still I love them and care for them, so that may be a turn off. And since I have a five year-old it’s probably not conducive to a lot of sex, if that is something you are even interested in doing with me, I know we have only been together a few weeks. It’s a little early to be thinking of sex. I just started walking again two weeks ago and walking without falling over like 5 days ago. You might not even want to have sex with me I can understand that. I was a playboy before. I even told you that to your face. I have been with a lot of women, and men too but not as many, but that was back before Pepper and really before you. Once I saw you it was like no man could ever compare. Plus, a house might be too much. A house is too much isn’t it. I should have mentioned it. I just wanted it to be a surprise. I can tear it down. We can just move back to the lake house. It’s no prob---” 

Steve surged forward to kiss him mid-rant, before he could work himself up further. Steve couldn’t believe they would live together. That Tony wanted that. 

“Tony,” He breathed out. “When? How? It’s only been two weeks?”

Tony laughed, but didn’t move himself from Steve’s arms. “Two weeks is enough when you are as rich as I am, Steve. It’s just a house. Plus, I designed it, so I didn’t have to wait for an architect or anything.” 

“This isn’t a house, Tony. This is a mansion. You designed it? ” Steve said shaking his head, but he couldn’t hide the awe at Tony’s accomplishment. 

“Agree to disagree. This is smaller than where I grew up. Besides, I had to design it. There aren’t many people in the world who can properly design a lab like mine or a bunker for the kids to go and hide in if there is an emergency. Pepper helped a bit, but mostly with the design of her room and office. She is going to live here because Morgan’s her daughter too. I hope that doesn’t bother you, but if it does you are going to have to suck it up.”

Steve just laughed and kissed Tony again. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Pepper is family.”

Steve allowed himself to be dragged along into the house for a tour and couldn’t help but get choked up when Tony showed him the art room he had designed, with a perfect view of the Hudson. And he kissed him senseless, when he realized that Tony didn’t make him a separate bedroom. Instead he just pushed open the door to the second master, the first being Pepper’s, and proceeded to call it “Our Room” and "Our Home." 

Steve had a home. One that was a place. But his real home was Tony. Well, Tony, their kids, and the Avengers. But he belonged. Right here in 2023. He wasn’t a man out of time. He was a man with a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that there would be an "Epilogue" Chapter, buttttt there will be at least one more chapter. I am writing it right now, so most likely posting tonight if not definitely tomorrow!!!
> 
> What do you think? Please please please comment.


	13. Through Time and Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching POVs. Tony, Steve, Tony
> 
> Setting the timelines right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One scene of heavy making out. No sex.

Bruce hadn’t had the time to make a new Quantum tunnel, while he was making sure Gamma Radiation didn’t kill Tony, so when they moved back to the new compound. Tony and Bruce threw themselves into completing it. 

It took months of basically non-stop work, but Tony didn’t mind the work and he trusted Steve and Pepper with the kids, plus Steve made sure to help Morgan bring down food and coffee several times a day. Caffeine and his daughter, plus a kiss from Steve just made him work harder. The boys came down to the lab often enough on their own too. To help or to tinker on their own projects. It made him so proud that they enjoyed working with him.

Though Tony did take the time away from his lab to celebrate Christmas as a family with all of the Avengers and their families, even Peter’s Aunt May and Harley’s Mom. It was the best Christmas Tony had probably ever had. The last four had been happy because of Morgan, but with all of his family present, he felt complete. Plus, he had managed to make Steve blush with his entire body in their Christmas card. It was so amazing to look at, that he had it framed on his desk. 

As the weeks went on the work continued and things went back to “normal.” Pepper went back to working in the city a few days a week and Peter and Harley went back to school and even though Peter came to spend most weekends at the mansion, it was still quieter than Tony had grown used to since waking up. But he pushed through focusing on the project and triple checking Bruce’s equations, while spending as many of the day time hours with Morgan and Steve as possible while still completing his work. 

The only problem with completing the tunnel was that Steve insisted that it should be him to go through it. That he would be the safest. And that it should be alone.

But to hell with safest. Tony didn’t want the man he loved roaming through Time without backup. 

So here he was putting the finishing touches on the machine two days before Valentine’s day, but contemplating breaking it and starting over. Bruce seemed to know what he was thinking though because he was watching him like a hawk. 

“Steve will be fine, Tony. He has so much to come home too.”

Tony slammed his hands down on the table. “He shouldn’t leave in the first place. He can’t just leave me, Bruce. Not again. I already made peace with living without him once. I can’t do it again. Not now that he is actually mine.”

He felt arms slide around his waist and he just started to cry. He shouldn’t cry, but he was just so afraid. The last time they went back in time he had been so sure they would die there. That it wouldn’t work and that they would never come back, but it had worked, they had gotten lucky. And now Steve, his Steve, wanted to test his luck again. Why couldn’t Sam and Bucky go? They had offered, but Steve was so adamant. 

“Tony.” Steve’s lips moved against his ear and he couldn’t help but stiffen. Somehow, he hadn’t realized Steve had snuck into the lab. That it wasn’t Bruce hugging him. He was too far into his own spiral to notice. 

“Tony, I am going to come back to you. I promise. I love you so much. There is nothing in the universe that would keep me away. But I need to do this, and you need to be here with the kids. Plus, I know with you here nothing will go wrong with the tunnel.” 

Tony buried his head in Steve’s shoulder and refused to move. “I love you, Steve. Please come back.”

\----------------------------------

Steve couldn’t stand to see Tony upset like this. Not when the mission was so cut and dry. They had done it before, and he could do it again. But seeing Tony worried and crying, just made him want to send someone else. He couldn’t though, this mission was too important. He had been reviewing and preparing to land the time jumps perfectly for weeks. There was no one else who could pull it off. 

He lifted Tony up like a child, sighing lightly into Tony’s hair as he wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and burying his head in Steve’s neck. Steve carried him into the elevator, which he had at first complained about because what normal house had an elevator, and he refused to put Tony down until they were through their bedroom and into the bathroom. 

He set Tony down on the counter and kissed him softly before lifting his shirt over his head. He memorized every line of Tony’s body with his hands and eyes, before stepping between Tony’s legs and kissing him deeply. Licking into his mouth and swallowing the little noises he was making. Tony slipped his hands under Steve’s shirt and ran his fingers down his stomach pulling a groan from his throat. 

“Off. Off.”

Steve complied with Tony’s order. Flinging his shirt across the room in record time. God, he wanted Tony so bad. He was so beautiful. 

He moaned harshly as Tony broke their kiss only to fasten his lips to Steve’s chest. 

He let himself indulge in a few more minutes of Tony’s wandering hands and mouth before pulling away.

“Come on, baby. We need to take a shower. You’ve been in the lab for five days straight.” 

Tony slapped him in the chest. “Is this your way of telling me I smell?”  
Steve just grinned. Of course, he would think that. 

He tugged Tony off the counter, toward the shower. Tony was still pouting, so Steve took matters into his own hands and stripped the sweats right off Tony’s body in one swift movement, earning a yelp. 

“Friday, can you set the shower to Tony’s temperature please?”

“Of course, Captain Rogers.”

Steve stepped out of his own pajama pants and underwear before tugging Tony into the oversized shower. It was really a shower room. It even had a bench on one side. But Steve was just grateful that they could shower together without him taking up too much room. 

He lathered up Tony’s hair, running his fingers through it while Tony leaned heavily into him. He was exhausted. Steve could see it in his face. He wished that this project hadn’t been so important, and that Tony could have eased back into his normal life rather than dropping himself in full force. But he knew that Tony wasn’t going to risk the balance of the other timeline, not with something as serious as Thanos. 

By the time Tony was completely clean, he was falling asleep in Steve’s arms, so Steve carried him out of the shower back to their bed. He toweled Tony dry and tucked him under the covers, dropping a kiss to his forehead. 

Tony whined when he pulled away, but he just murmured softly in Tony’s ear. “I have to check on Morgan. I will be right back. I promise.”

He slipped on his sleep pants and quietly left the room.

Morgan’s room was right in the middle between their room and Pepper’s. Steve peaked in and just took in the sight of their little girl, sound asleep in her giant princess castle bed, with a mural of their family on the wall, the one thing that she begged him for when they had moved in. She was perfect. Everything he had ever wished for in a child.

He shouldn’t go in, but just in case things went wrong he needed to see her. To run his hands through her soft hair one last time. 

When he left Morgan’s room, he didn’t go back to his room, back to Tony. Instead he headed to Pepper’s room. Knocking softly and when Pepper opened the door she just sighed and stepped aside to let him through. 

“Sorry to bother you, Pep.”

“Steve, we live together, and you help raise my child. You aren’t a bother. Now what’s wrong?”

“If something goes wrong tomorrow, I need you to help Tony get through it. He has been so good about his sobriety and I don’t want to be the reason that changes. He is very nervous and upset. I need to know he will be okay. That the kids will be okay.”

She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him. He wasn’t expecting it even though they had gotten closer recently. He wilted into her arms all of the nervous energy finally hitting him. 

“Steve, I’m not saying it will be easy, but if something happens we will get them through it. All of the Avengers will help, but please try not to let anything happen. He loves you so much. The kids adore you. No one will be the same without you.”

They stood there for a while, Steve shaking slightly as he cried out his anxiety. When he finally pulled himself together, he bid Pepper goodnight and returned to Tony.

As he slid into bed, Tony mumbled softly in his sleep and curled himself around Steve like an octopus. Steve buried his face in Tony’s hair and did his best to memorize his smell, the little sounds he made in sleep, and the feeling of his body against him. Steve fell asleep just like that, hoping that tomorrow would be easy and that he would get to do this again.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

Tony only slept three hours before he stumbled back out of bed, but before he wandered back down to check on the tunnel, he stood at the end of the bed staring down at the man he loved more than almost anything in the world. He took the time to memorize ever feature of Steve’s beautiful sleep slack face and couldn’t help the tears that slid down his own face from anxiety. 

He dropped a kiss to Steve’s cheek before fleeing their room to the safety of his lab. 

 

He had rechecked every single calculation before Bruce even wandered back down. Tony was glad that Bruce knew him well enough to not talk about it. To know that he was hanging on by a thread and really didn’t need to hear false promises or platitudes. 

 

When he finished the calculations, he began checking that all of the mechanical pieces of the actual tunnel were in order one at a time, to make sure there were no missed connections or loose wires. 

“Did you calibrate the tunnel, Bruce? Run diagnostics?” Tony mumbled sliding out from under the machine.

“Tony, we calibrated and ran diagnostics five times before I went to bed. Everything will be fine. Steve will be fine.”

“WE DON’T KNOW THAT!” Tony snarled viciously tossing his wrench down on the floor. “It needs to be perfect, Bruce. This is my husband.”

 

“We’re not married, Anthony.” 

Tony jumped a mile in the air and whirled around, shocked to see Steve was standing there in his 2012 Captain America suit, a serious expression painted over his beautiful face. 

“I-uh. Well. Steve. I- I know we aren’t.“ Tony stammered. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t meant to say that, but he would marry Steve in a heartbeat. But they hadn’t been dating for super long and Pepper hadn’t ever actually wanted to marry him, so why would Captain Fucking America want to be saddled to him. He wrung his hands together nervously waiting for Steve’s response. 

When a grin finally broke across his face, Tony breathed a sigh of relief. “Relax, Tony. I understand, truly I do. And I love you. So much.” 

Tony allowed himself to be pulled into Steve’s arms, sinking into his warm embrace. Breathing in his scent and cataloguing it just in case. 

“We could you know.” Tony murmured against Steve’s chest. “Get married… If you want.”

 

Steve chuckled softly, pressing his lips to the top of Tony’s head. “Tony if you really want to get married. Then you can ask me again when I get home. I will not get engaged because you’re afraid I won’t come back. There is nothing in the Universe that could keep me away.” 

Tony nodded, silently hoping with everything he had that he had the chance to ask again.

 

“Now, are we ready for me to suit up?”

 

Tony flitted around making sure the quantum suit was fitted nicely over Steve’s Captain America tactical suit, tightening his quantum watch, and attaching Steve’s shield, which he was thankful Shuri repaired, to Steve’s suit himself, swatting Steve's hands away when he went to do it. He made sure Steve had tons of Pym particles, putting them in every pocket of Steve’s suit, plus in a hidden compartment in the briefcase that had the stones. He was not risking Steve being stuck somewhere in the past. 

Tony was surprised that Steve just let him dress him and triple check every single aspect of his suit, but he was sure that by now Steve knew him well enough to just let his anxious energy flow. 

By the time everything was ready for Steve, Bruce had run a diagnostic and recalibrated the tunnel just to make Tony happy, but he was grateful nonetheless.

He watched as Steve hugged Sam, Bucky, and Bruce, before he crowded into Steve’s space one last time and reeled him into a kiss. He kissed him with every fiber of his being. Hoping that Steve knew just how much loved him. They broke apart when Sam wolf-whistled loudly. 

Steve was pleasantly blushing, with kiss bitten lips and dark lustful eyes. One more memory that Tony would never let go. One that he hoped kept Steve going. 

“Five Seconds, Captain. Then you come home to me, okay?”

“Yes sir, Mr. Stark.” Steve grinned playfully, before stepping into the tunnel and falling back into his military stance and serious face. 

Tony got ready at the controls, with Bruce by his side, taking a deep breath and preparing to push the button. 

 

But Friday’s voice rang out through the room. “Sir, Wait! Ms. Morgan is requesting access.” Sure enough, when he turned around, Morgan was pounding her hands on the glass door. 

“Let her in Fri.” 

Steve stumbled out of the tunnel and fell to his knees as she ran to him screaming, “PAPA!”

Tony could see the tears welling in his eyes.

“Papa, you can’t go without this!” She handed Steve Tony’s arc reactor. Tony hadn’t even noticed it. “You need Daddy’s heart, so you can find your way home.”

Steve tugged her into his arms and cried lightly. Soothing her hair. Tony wanted to join them, but instead let them have their moment. 

“You’re coming back, right Papa?” 

“Of course, baby girl, I will do my very best. I can’t live without my best girl. And your Daddy too.” Tony could hear the thickness in Steve’s voice as he spoke. 

Tony watched as Steve hugged her hard and kissed her cheek, before he finally stood again. “I love you, baby. Now why don’t you go with your mom. You need to go make those Valentine’s you promised all the Avengers.” She nodded, stopping to hug Tony, which almost brought him to his own knees, before sprinting out of the lab. 

 

 

Steve settled himself back into the tunnel after slipping the arc reactor into his suit. 

"You can't leave me, Winghead. Come back. I love you." Tony felt desperate. Like it couldn't go without saying one last time.

“I love you, Shellhead. Through all of time and space. I'll never leave you. See you in 5.” Tony watched as Bruce pressed the button and Steve disappeared. 

 

5

 

4

 

3

 

2

 

1

 

Bruce pressed the button again, but nothing happened. Tony’s eyes widened and he jammed on the button several more times, before falling to his knees in front of the tunnel. 

“No. No. Steve. Come Back to me. Come back right now. Don't you dare leave me.” He couldn’t hear what Bruce was saying to him, and he felt Bucky slid his arms around Tony’s shoulders. Tony prayed. He prayed to a god he hadn’t believed in since he was 8 years old. Just prayed for Steve to come back. Prayed as hard as he possibly could.

 

When he saw Steve start to materialize in front of him, he cried out in relief. 

But he didn’t expect Steve to not be alone. Tony fell back onto his ass in shock. He mumbled out to Friday for the avengers to assemble. But other than that, he just stared, mouth hanging open. And he was sure everyone else was too. 

 

“What, Shellhead? You didn’t think I’d miss your wedding, did you? Steve said you two finally stopped gazing into each other’s eyes long enough to bone.” Tony was barely registering the words. Just mesmerized. 

 

“NATASHA, that is not what I said.” Steve laughed. Like this wasn’t a miracle. Like Natasha Romanoff wasn’t breathing in front of them. 

 

“What? How? I don’t.. Steve. You were late. How? Natasha.” Tony couldn’t formulate a complete thought. 

 

Steve knelt beside him to help him to his feet. “Well, I had to offer something up in addition to returning the stone. So, I gave something up and I got Nat back. She means so much to all of us, I couldn’t not do it. I had to try to bring her home too.”

 

“You scared the shit out of us. I thought Stark was going to become a priest with all his praying. What did you give up, you punk? Doesn’t someone need to die?” Bucky’s jaw was clenched tightly, so tightly that Tony was sure that it had to be hurting his teeth, but he was curious too. If Steve and Natasha were here, who died?

Steve just smiled and Tony couldn’t help but swoon at his gorgeous face. He felt slightly lightheaded from all the stress and relief. 

Steve unstrapped his shield, running his hands over it tenderly. “My old life. The past I still clung to. My life as Captain America had to die, so that Natasha could come back to us. But, it’s time I pass the torch anyway. I’m getting a little old for the kevlar stars and stripes.”

Everyone was shocked. Tony, however, wasn’t as shocked when Steve passed the shield to Sam, as everyone else seemed to be. Sam meant a lot to Steve and they made a good team. But judging by looks between Sam and Bucky. They would definitely be the newest fighting partners, in addition to dating. 

Tony managed to get himself to his feet and fling himself at Natasha. Hugging her tightly. He didn’t realize how big of a void was left without her, until she was standing right in front of him as though she never left. He was so grateful that she was back. That the team was nearly all back together. Now he and Bruce just needed to figure out Vision. 

 

Tony moved into Steve’s arms as everyone made their way to Natasha with hugs and gratitude. Everyone was crying happy tears, but no one was prepared for the heart wrenching cry that sounded through the room, when Clint slammed his way into the lab and caught sight of the reason for the assemble.

“Nat?”

“Hey there, Old Man. Miss me?” 

 

 

Tony allowed himself to be led away from the group, giving Clint and Natasha some privacy while they cried, knowing that Steve needed to see Morgan to reassure her and himself. 

“Will you still wear the stars and stripes for me?” He smirked as Steve blushed softly. 

“You’re my fella, Tony. I will wear anything you want me too.” Tony couldn’t help, but feel happy, and extremely turned on just hearing that. 

“How about a ring?”

Steve just laughed and kissed him hard. Which he took to mean, Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Complete. I may write about how Steve gets her back or their wedding, but for now this is complete. 
> 
> Please comment. Tell me what you think.


End file.
